I almost did it. Stay away from him. But, something happened
that force me to do not do this anymore.
March 26th 2013.
He came to my class when I was studying the music lesson.
When I was teaching how to play guitar with some my friends. And yeah, it made
me….. surprised. Very surprised. He talked and announced about something
important and interesting to tell. Maybe it took less than 15 minutes. When he
finished, suddenly he walked and came around me and my friends. And do you
know? He asked me “Sara, do you want to join?” That’s exactly made me shocked.
Really shocked. I can’t say it enough. Right now, I’m still shock. I just
replied with “No”. Maybe he didn’t know what was the reason behind it. I’ll
tell. I loved when he called my name
He did this when I almost to get there, forget him, and stay
away (Read: move on). I can’t do anything. Speechless? Of course. Nervous?
Exactly. Elated? I guess you know the answer. Maybe almost a month I didn’t
meet him. But when I met, he did a unbelievable thing. (to me). Finally I heard
his voice, saw him face to face, and saw his adorable smile. God, why don’t you
make me hate him? This is deep feeling, unspoken, undead, and endless love.
Here’s the reasons why I didn’t want to join the…
competition.
- I hate to wear make-up. To all my friends, I’m sure you
all know about this. I don’t know why. But I really hate this item. This always
happened when I want to perform, emmm dance. Yes, dance. You know this is a
part of the properties and terms. And I hate this. But I love dance. Forget it.
- I hate to wear… dress or else. I just love to wear t-shirt
and jeans. That’s all. And I believe if I join the competition, this is part of
the properties (I don’t know its name). And I never wear this. From my very
first age until now, I never wear this and I even don’t have and don’t mind to
buy one. At least I’ll never wear this.
- I hate to wear high heels. And I’m so sure this also one
of the properties. And also, from my very first age until now I never wear
this. Even when there’s a wedding party or else, I just wear my converse. And I
don’t have it. None. Just mom’s.
So, dear Archie. I refused to join it’s not because I’m not
interest in it. But I hate those three items above. I’m not like the other who
has self-believe.
I wanna thank you but I can’t thank you enough. I wanna talk
to you face to face, just we both. But, I’m not sure I can do it. Say and tell
about something inside my heart that have been hiding more than a year. I wanna
hold your hand just like your gf did. I wanna say the words just like your gf
did. I wanna stare at your eyes just like your gf did. I wanna text you just
like your gf did. I wanna walk by you in the corridor just like your gf did.
Maybe it’s time to countdown the graduation day. And I’m still
stuck thinking about what I have to do before the day. I do remember when you
held me in your arms on my birthday. That’s the sweetest gift I’ve ever gotten
and I felt like the happiest person in the world. I think about that all the
time. I remember the first time I saw you. I remember when you sang in music as
simply the teacher said. And I watched you going home everyday.
Can I hold your hand just one more time? Do you want to hear
the deepest secret inside my heart?
I’m waiting for your call.
Can I move on? I’m not.
Do I love him? Yes, I do!
