confused

it's been so long didn't write a post to this blog of mine. So many things that 'maybe' I have to share, hehehe...

First, I have to tell you that now I am 16 years old.
Second, Now I am on 11th grade, and I am on science class, again: s.c.i.e.n.c.e class...
And third, I'm still 'galau' because of 'david archie'...

Yeah, you have to know that he gave me more, more, and more attention and he successfully made me happy and confused at the same time. Happy and confused because what he's done to me. Confused, because it seems like he can read my mind, he knows what I feel, and he knows what I want. It seems he knows my favorite song, he knows that I'm happy if he calls my name, and he knows that I love him. I don't know what's happening

I got a beautiful surprise on 'the day after' my birthday from all my classmate, got a 'mini' tart, greetings, wishes, and candles. This was a best birthday ever in my life. I never got the one at school before. I just celebrate it with the fams not with friends. While I was busy with the tart my friends called him and they asked him to take a pic with me and yes, he did (I don't wanna post the pic to this). It made me flew like a bird inside, it made me wondering inside. "why does he want to do that to me?" "does he know that I love him?" "can he hear my heart is calling him?" . Yeah, no one ever know the answer... Before the surprise, he met me and said '(calling my name), happy birthday. wish you all the best and bla bla bla. I'm sorry I haven't enough time to make a video for you' . Ohyeah, I don't know what he meant.. Again, it made me wondering and confused.

I still silent. Keep the truth right inside of me even though he is single, now. I'm not brave enough and not ready to tell the truth. Maybe the time is not right, I don't know how long I should wait for the right time. But, it will never change my affection for him. I'll be waiting. No matter what.


And, I'm confused with the major in college that I will take. Yore when I was 7th I aspired to be a dance teacher and music teacher. I will study at Jakarta Institute of Art (IKJ) and study hard to get a scholarship to study in the USA. But, my parents don't agree with me. They want me to study at Universitas Negeri Jakarta (UNJ) majored in architecture/civil engineering. They said that music and dance just a hobbies not a job.
I don't know what should I do. I really want to be a dance teacher and music teacher who will teach everyone about art. Become a musician and get a scholarship to study in the USA is my dreams and my target!

I don't know why everything around me makes me confused. I hate this situation. But, still I have a dream and I love him.

Happy fasting all!