I have just finished staring at the sky for three hours straight. I know that is weird, but I think that would be better rather than sitting alone on the corner of McD. I was confused about anything that has just happened and of course the one that is still on going. Then, I realized maybe it is because I have not done journaling lately. As you know, the last post I published was four months ago.
Well, I know even though the post I write here does not contain any thoughts that are bothering my mind, at least writing this random stuffs do help releasing the tension hahaha.
By the way, have you ever heard a famous quote that said "what you think, you become"? I just remember something that I have done in the past. It was not really related to that quote, but I think it was similar. So here is again my analysis.
If the quote "what you think, you become" really works, we can change the initial sentence, right? Let us start with the word "writing." What would the sentence be? "What you write, you ...?" In my opinion, it could go like this, "what you write, you affirm." Is that well? Hahahaha I do not know.
As usual, many things have happened of course during the last four months. It made me a bit shift my character. Well, I am not saying this because I claim it. It was more likely revealed by one of my close friends.
So, long story short was, I made a plan with my friend to go out after work. Yes, I know I notice this rare behavior as well. Going out on after hours is not really me. There more, it was me who initiated the meeting first. It is, again, not really my character. LOL.
It did left me in a moment of silence between me and my self. Like, I talked to my self, "am I changing?" hahaha. Funny, that sometimes I felt like I did not know my own self. Accidentally, I remembered something that happened in the past.
I believe I was extrovert until particular circumstances shut me up. It happened when I was just a kid. As experts say that children usually copy what they see, what they are told to, and so on, I guess my early-childhood psychological subconsciously received that and buried that in the back of my mind.
This small analysis just made me wondering, what the hell am I? hahaha. On one side, people see me as a super-duper quiet person. While on the other hand, it is not a few who said I am so talkative. Yeah, it actually depends on whom I talk to.
Well, I do not know exactly. Maybe this "new era" has shaped me a bit more different. For example, even though I am an introvert, I cannot lie that I miss sitting on a bench with my friends having face to face conversations in this hurly burly city. Real conversation exactly.
Anyway, talking about city, I just want to let you know that I still cannot get enough of the interlude part of Niall Horan's Too Much Too Ask. Every time I listen to it, I remember the warm and lovely vibes of Bendungan Hilir and Sudirman village in the afternoon.
I do not know why it feels like that. The building, the city lights, and the twilight ambience sound fit to the notes and the sound of the guitar. It just reminds me of the same atmosphere when I listen to Jason Mraz's I Won't Give Up and James Bay's Let It Go. The difference lies on the place. Yes, I Won't Give Up and Let It Go bring Antasari streets vibes. Not forget to mention, Kemang as well. Are you getting confused with this? Hahahaha, do not worry, you are not alone.
Actually, I am not a twilight craver, I am more with dawn perfectly packed with the dew. However, I am not really an early bird. You can say I am a night owl because I bear with twilight more often.
Maybe I miss the feeling of strolling the city in the night. I could do that actually, but would you do that in this really "hard" time?
Photo by Bagus Ghufron on Unsplash
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